Getting pregnant is not just about having sex at the ‘right’ time or going through the motions of IVF. The mind can have a very powerful influence on the whole process of conception.
Negative thoughts, emotions and behaviours can all lead to increased anxiety and sometimes depression, getting in the way of your goal of conceiving. The hardest thing to hear when you are trying to address fertility issues is, ‘you must remain positive, try not to think about it too much.’
As true as this advice may be, many people need support in reaching a relaxed and optimistic mind-set during what can be one of the most important and stressful times of your life.
Today I’m sitting down with Maureen Kiely, our senior clinical hypnotherapist with over 15 years of experience for a quick Q&A session.
One of the things that we see at the clinic constantly is how a woman can deal with uncertainty ’cause trying to get pregnant, not knowing when it’s going to happen, it’s really, really hard and it really affects your mindset. How do work with those women? What can hypnotherapy do to help?
That’s what I asked Maureen to tell us!
And as usual, your cheatsheet is below…
Zita: What can hypnotherapy do to help?
Maureen: The first thing is that when people come here they also walk in and have a bit of hope. They think, maybe this is going to be the place where I’m going to find the answers. I like to maximise the potential of that hope. One of things I do is I draw an analogy between having a passport, if you like, a passport that tells you who you are, where you’ve been, what’s happened to you and it’s true and it’s full of their experience. That isn’t always easy, experience, and that isn’t always, it can be very, very difficult, some of the things that people come to us with that passport. And I say, we can’t say that that no longer exists. We can’t get rid of it but what we can do is acknowledge it, put it to one side and get a day pass. Every day I’m going to help you get a day pass every day into a place which has a language of optimism, positivity, is flourishing, it’s benevolent and I’m going to help you manage that language through my strategies and through hypnosis.
Zita: How does what you do tie into fertility?
Maureen: It ties in because I give them very specific places to take their thoughts and their feelings to. A much more positive use of the energy. If you think about energy coming in, it’s neutral but it’s what we do with the energy. Because we worry about fertility, because we worry about what’s happened in the past, that energy then becomes anxiety and upset. I help them to make that energy that comes in, detour it, if you like, into this more positive place with visualisations, with strategies to make those sorts more positive and optimistic, more flourishing. It ties into fertility because I give them a more positive outlook, they are genuinely feeling more positive and more optimistic because they have a genuine positive and optimistic place to take their thoughts to.
Zita: Do women leave you with a way to help themselves at home?
Maureen: Absolutely. One of the things I encourage, I say actually, that when they’re here they get it all. I’m a director, I don’t let people sit around in a wishy washy place. I direct them. I know exactly what they need, I’ve been doing it a long time. But I also teach them self hypnosis and therefore if it’s three o’clock in the morning and you wake up, no matter all these thoughts and mindfulness and all those things, I say, then, go to your fertility garden. Go to your control room. Go into your balloon that’s going to take you away, it’s going to help you detach from that worry and that negativity. Find that place that I help them to get where you can genuinely help yourself fall back to sleep. Help yourself feel genuinely calm.
Zita: What about if I’m feeling a bit frightened by the thought of hypnotherapy? I know before I had hypnotherapy I was worried about going under or what was going to happen to me, thinking about the swinging of watches, but it’s a very easy process, isn’t it?
Maureen: Absolutely. That’s the point is that I only use my voice and you go into a deep relaxed state and then I teach you how to do that too. There’s no watches. I don’t turn you into a chicken but you’re going to walk away feeling comfortable, serene and relaxed, at the very least.
We have enough results in this clinic to show that people can genuinely access a flourishing, benevolent space and that has impact, mind over matter, where the mind goes the body follows. We do good work.